Everything that could possibly go wrong…

You go to bed at 10:34 pm. Early? Not if you had a long day, and especially not if you walked home from town. Ati why did you walk? Well, just coz…and plus si you can save that ka 70/- and at the same time catch a few minutes of exercise?  Good idea huh? Wrong! By the time you get home, you are just about to collapse this walking home thing, bad idea. Bad bad idea. You promise yourself to never do it again. You get home and find the breakfast dishes staring at you faithfully from the sink, you decide to multitask, wash the dishes as you whip up a quick meal for super. By the time you are done, it’s time to watch the nine o’clock news.

So yeah, you go to bed hoping for  a long night filled with sweet dreams. You don’t know about the sweet dreams because you black out two seconds after you hit the bed. You can definitely say something about the night being long because you wake up thirty minutes later than you normally do. Damn it! You are going to be late for work!!! From there, everything just goes down hill.

You rush to the kitchen to warm water for bathing but soon realize that using the kettle will take too long, so what now?use gas? No, you’l just take a cold shower, after all, The sun is shining, the water must be warm. You have never been so wrong about anything in your life, the water is freezing cold. Good thing though, it means you will shower faster. You get out of the shower and realize that in your haste, you went to the bathroom without your slippers, whatever, you will just run to your room barefoot. You slip and miss breaking your neck by a fraction. Wet feet and tiles, Maji na mafuta.

NO NO no nooooooo, you were too tired last night to set out your clothes for the day and needless to say, you can’t find anything to wear, you take a peek at your phone, it’s quarter to eight. You are not late. No, you are LATE. Those unironed clothes will just have to do. Won’t they? No problem, you’l make up for it by wearing  your cutest sandals. You are in such a hurry, you don’t remember just how delicate the straps on your scandals are. You break one. Ok, so forget  the sandals, you slip on the nearest pair of shoes. No one will even notice your shoes anyway, yeah?

You manage to get to the stage, catch a bus and lucky for you Jam ni kiasi, and although to you it feels like forever, you get to the clinic. You sigh in relief and smile as you get in, only thirty minutes late, you congratulate yourself and conclude that today might not be such a bad day after all. Too soon, you meet the manager at the door and is that a purple shirt he is wearing? of course it is, whatever made you think it would be a good day. Everybody knows what the purple shirt means.Manager is in a rotten mood. It’s going to be a long day. Morning greetings from him, “You are late, don’t let it happen again.” You nod and hurry to the nurses station.

One of the two nurses is off so there are just two of you. You dispense medication, take vital signs, dress wounds, give medication , you are swamped  in the midst of all that, you forget you have a lunch break. Serves you right for being late in the first place. Half of Nairobi is sick today, and for some reason, they chose to be seen at this particular clinic. Yeah that’s great, bring it on. By four o’clock,Hypoglycemia is killing you, are on the verge of fainting. Somebody hands you a banana and a cup of tea, bless her soul.

You leave the clinic and your phone rings on your way to kencom, ( you are taking the bus today, lesson learnt yesterday). So the phone call, remember that place you worked a few weeks ago? Yeah its’s them. You hold your breath and cross your fingers, hoping its good news. They still haven’t paid you so this might be it, hahaha!!! Joke on you, that cash you were expecting sometime this week, well that’s not happening, there is a problem with one of your numbers. You know the ones you  queued for hours to get?  At least If you want to get paid, You have to go through those queues again coz one of the numbers seems to be invalid.(Somebody needs to get fired somewhere. Invalid number your toe). Arrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!! And now is when they are telling you! Five o’clock when all the government offices are closed.

You get into the bus and are frisked by someone who seems to have had a worse day than you. Easy boss, that’s way too high for your comfort. You irritably ask her not to touch/frisk you there, Nkt!! You are so busy seething you almost miss your stop, but you don’t. You alight and decide not to use the fly over, ( a stupid decision) but you will just cross, kwani? By the time you get across you have about thirty drivers hooting at you. Eish, they should cut you some slack. No?

You get another phone call, you are a little skeptical since the calls for the day haven’t been all that encouraging, You ignore it but the caller is persistent, he wont let your conscience rest. So you answer the phone. Oh! it’s that guy… the one that  has liked you for years. You smile and although you haven’t seen him in years given that he is out of the country,(ati long distance relationships? hahaha, you are funny!) either way, it’s a little sunshine into your otherwise gloomy day. So you start talking, you are almost home, you are oblivious of your surrounding engrossed in conversation. Then you hear your name shouted with such enthusiasm, you stop dead on your tracts, look around, you don’t see anyone you might know around. You brush it off and keep walking, then you hear it again, your name, and this time its your middle name, Ok, that’s interesting, not alot of people know your middle name. Its followed by a hoot! You look around, oh the blue car, the guy is actually rolling down his window. Curiosity gets the best of you although you proceed with caution.

Its your old flame (for lack of a better word). lol. You know the one where you both liked each other but the timing was never right? The one you kinda had a thing with but never really got to define the “thing”? yeah him.  You excuse yourself to the guy n the phone. So he (old flame) goes like oh, I didn’t know you got back! All you can think of is your unironed clothes and your “whatever” shoes. You curse yourself mentally and keep the smile plastered on your face. You give him an awkward hug through the car window, remind him that he is holding traffic, and he goes like “oh?” Then he says he will call you. you tell him he doesn’t have your number but its ok. He says he will leave you an inbox. On facebook you assume. You get back to your phone call and try to explain that you just met a friend of yours, the guy on the other end is not amused, the conversation does not end well. Sigh.

You get home, slump n the couch and wish you could just take a break from everything for a day. You are home alone, No breakfast dishes. You are too tired to cook so you eat the breakfast you didn’t take this morning for supper. You go to bed earlier than the previous night, only to wake up at three am. Nothing to do so you decide to take the time and go through your mail…nothing interesting, wait, Waht?something n facebook catches your attention. No, old flame has not left you an inbox. On the contrary, he has posted photos of him and his new “flame”. Lots and Lots of photos. Like really man? Why you gonna go and do that? You shake your head and let it pass.

You decide to go back and catch maybe an hour of sleep. Its still to early to be awake. Your alarm doesn’t go off and you wake up with a jolt. You check your phone and try to figure out why the alarm didn’t go off,for some reason the phone is off and it wont waka. Damn you phone, you rush to the wall clock in the sitting room. You are not late for  work today, did I just say work? scratch that, I meant this place you volunteer, you are not late for that. But then again, although you connect your stupid phone to the charger, it still won’t waka. Reality that your phone has died hits you and sinks in slowly. you have had that phone forever, you loved that phone, and anyway, Nokias are not supposed to just die on you. So now, you are phoneless, and this is how you tell your friends not to call you on your airtel line. Phone won’t waka…but it could be worse.

You smile and hope that at least today will be a better day.