Apple of mine…

I call her Apple (that’s coz apples are like my favorite fruits and I just like the sound of it, Apple.) she calls me Munchkin, or Pumpkin, don’t ask me why, maybe I look like something one would munch or maybe i’m rounded like a pumpkin( I hope not), I don’t know. Maybe i should find out no? She just calls me the weirdest of names, there was even a time I was strawberry, Gosh whats with the names, you may ask, it’s even a little cheesy eh?

You may wonder about two chics that have pet names for each other, Wait a minute, and those of you thinking way overboard, get your minds out of the gutters, Apple and I don’t roll that way. In fact, if we were guys, ours would be called ” bromance“. Chics don’t have a name for it yet, at least not that I’ve heard of. Maybe it’s BFF’s. Let me just call it that for lack of a better term.

These last couple of days have been a little stressful for me. I have graduated in a foreign land with just my dad representing my whole family, I have dealt with the madness that comes before graduation, the clearances and the last minute requirements that threatened to prevent me from enjoying my long awaited day. I have had to deal with my dad missing his flight, re-booking a new flight, seeing him off and missing him from the minute I said goodbye and wished him a safe trip. I have had time to think about future, when the last four years had just been filled with thoughts of school and now that I no longer have that, then what? I have stood on shaky ground filled with doubt about who my friends really are, who is genuinely there for me,and who is putting on a facade?  I have felt the loneliness that comes from such uncertainty. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I am blessed. I have been blessed, and I believe that I will continue to be blessed.

Still, These last few days have been hard for me. Today has actually been the hardest. I have truly known what it feels like to be surrounded by people but still be so so lonely, that kind of loneliness that is the worst, being around people but feeling like you are alone in the entire world. It is in moments like these that I miss my Apple.

I miss her because she knows exactly what to say or do to cheer me up, I miss her because she is the one person who I could stay in a room with for hours, not talking, each doing our own thing, and at the end of the day still be cool, still be great friends. I miss her because we are so different yet alike in so many ways. I miss her because in her, I see myself in more ways than one. I miss her because silence doesn’t threaten her, it doesn’t threaten our friendship, haven’t seen her for years and still silence doesn’t get in the way. I miss her because she knows when to give space and when to just be there, I miss her because she isn’t afraid to speak her mind about anything. She just says it and life goes on. I miss her because she has always believed in this friendship through thick and thin. Damn I just miss her.

I miss her because, well because she is who she is. I miss her because she is my Apple. I don’t even care how corny that sounds right now. Think what you want, Say what you want. Suit yourself for all I care, right now, I just miss her, so maybe I will just call her, just that thought of talking to her makes me feel so much better already. Relax, i’m as straight as they get, i’m just in an amazing chic “bromance” right now. And i’m allowed to miss my BFF once in a while aren’t I?